In this period of grief and mourning, I am hurting so deeply inside, that I dare not allow myself to think to long at a time about Larry being gone. I miss him so very much that I barely can stand it. I don't dare let myself think about him to long. My Mother use to say that my Dad loved to hard, I am my Father's daughter.
In time past it was proper to be in a period of mourning, wife's worn black for a year, didn't go out to social events for a proper period of time and their lose was respected by others as tragic. A persons lose of a loved one, husband, child, or family member was shared by others, again by respect shown to them.
Today, a person is expected to go back to work the day after the funeral, act as if nothing had occurred the previous day and the loved one lost, since not among us, should be forgotten. This is how I was treated and I am sure, if my Blog reach the masses, many, many people would share my experience. I am a thinking human being, and aware of changing times but respecting the dead, I believe, is important to our Heavenly Father, as the Creator of all of us and of those that have passed.
I have heard so often that the loved one has gone on to a better place, they are no longer suffering---this does not help in my grief at all and not welcome to hear. I don't ever tell a person this or that in time it gets better and the pain goes away. I am sorry, but that to me, belittles what a person is feeling, that has just lost their loved one. And we never know what someone else is feeling. Better to say, "I am sorry" and put your arms around them. The warmth of another person does more to heal than any words we can say.
Today, I realized that when I am gone, there will not be anyone that grieves for me. That was a stark realization and yet I have a home and a job. But, how many people in the World are alone and go unnoticed. Their passing from this Earth, is as a leaf in the wind, drifting silently away. I feel their pain of loneliness. If each of us just touched but one life, none would be alone.
We have God's promise of life-here-after, however, I believe He meant us to live life to the fullest and to live each day of our lives thinking about living not dieing !!!!! If God wanted only to have heaven and have us with Him, then that is what He would have done. But He gave us life---LIFE, to live not think about death. I want to live, Larry fought to live, to be happy that he is dead, is I believe, to belittle his fight for life. As was with my Father, he did everything the doctor's said that he may live. Why bother ever to go to the doctor or take any type of treatments if we are to look forward to death.
I believe, God wants us to live, be happy and prosper. He just doesn't want us to be afraid of the end because He will be with us. The "last time" of anything is sad---the end of a good movie, the end of a party, the end of the Holidays, the end of a vacation, the end of a good day, even the end of the "Birthday Cake".
The end of ones life should mean more, don't you think? The "last time", you will ever see that person, or talk to them ever again, in the living way, is heartbreaking to me. The "last time" we experience anything is saddening---so feel your grief, your lose, healing will come at its own pace and yours, don't allow anyone to tell you, differently and turn to God.
One of my favorite movies is "Its a Wonderful Life", it is because it so plainly tells how important each life is to each of us. Value your life, make each day count, never give up your dream, keep fighting for your life, throw out your nets and God will fill them. Take heart, God does love all of us and is with us every heart beat. He knows how many hair we have on our heads. Ask for the Holy Spirit to fill you, and believe you are safe in God's arms.
I am only surviving through my grief of lose because of God's love for me and the knowledge that He understands my pain, even if the World does not. He alone can help me heal and give me hope for a better tomorrow. The reassurance that God is with me, helps heal my wounded heart.
Give your cares to God, lay them at His feet and know with out a doubt, He cries with you, cares about you and is listening to your every prayer to Him for help.
MAY GOD BLESS US ALL WITH HIS UNDERSTANDING, COMPASSION, AND LOVE,
RM
